Wyndsong Writes

Obviously I haven’t been here for a while.  I’ve been here (pointing to my chair), but I haven’t been here on this blog…. or any of my blogs really.  I’ve posted a handful of things on one or two of my blogs but they’ve been few and far between.  Why?  Well that’s a very good question….. wish I had a good answer for ya.

So where have I been?  What have I been doing?  Why haven’t I posted?  Well, basically I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately.  I haven’t felt creative, talkative, interesting, interested, or motivated to do anything lately.  One thing is that my business has been extremely busy in the last few weeks.  It’s really picked up momentum and we’ve been doing really well.  So during the day,  I haven’t had as much time to do anything but work.  Which has been good for my bank account, but not so good for writing.  I’m generally too mentally exhausted to do anything but watch television at the end of a long 12 hr + work day 5 days a week.  But honestly that’s only been part of why I haven’t written anything.

Another reason has been my own self doubt.  I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself, my writing ability, my worthiness, my creativity… I doubt myself all the time and then worry about it the rest of the time.  It’s really irritating because I want to do so many different things and have so many different ideas that I “think” are good, but then worry that I’m the only person in the world that would find it interesting or good and then I stop myself from doing it.  Which then makes me feel bad about being so flakey and inconsistant.  Which in turn makes me feel worse.

Nice little cycle of self pity going huh?

Well, I know I am the only one who can change this.  I have good ideas, and if no one else wants to read them, hear them, know about them, well then that’s fine, but maybe there is one other person out there who wants to know what I have to say!  So I’m going to try and think abotu that person instead of all the others that may not want to hear me.

So my goals for myself are:

1. write a post in one of my blogs every day.  If I do more than that’s great, but I need to write at least one post every day to get myself back in the habit of writing.

2. Get back to exercising!  I will exercise at least 3 times a week.  I’m going to start out slow and work my way up.  When I was exercising I was feeling good… not just phsyically either.  I was feeling good emotionally and spiritually as well.

3. Start focusing more on my spirituality, not just the mundane.  When I focus on the mundane part of my life too much then I get bogged down in my worry.  I have a class to start student teaching soon, and I want to be back in the habit of spirit before that starts up.

So those are my goals for now.  I’ll start with these three somewhat vague but very important goals and work up to more from there.

Wish me luck and check back often!  LOL!